I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
