hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
