people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
