you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
