i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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