I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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