Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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