White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
