I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
