Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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