Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
