is your mom at the bar?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Randomize
