watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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