The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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