watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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