Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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