You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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