ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
