I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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