i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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