were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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