Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
A+ Viking dick
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
