Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
