Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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