idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
