Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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