Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There are leaves in my underwear?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
