i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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