It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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