P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
