Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
