1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
