Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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