was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
