i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
