halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
