To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
