Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
