I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
