I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
