You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
