The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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