Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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