I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
