We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
