Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
