If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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