Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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