yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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