I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this just has baby written all over it
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
