People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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